I Canceled New Year Dinner at My Place—I Won’t Pay Again for Everyone
One of our readers wrote to us with a story many people will recognize — especially around the holidays. For years, hosting New Year’s dinner at her place wasn’t just a tradition; it was an expectation. She paid, cooked, cleaned, and never complained.
This year, she finally said no — and everything changed.
The letter:
For years, New Year’s dinner at my place wasn’t a tradition — it was an expectation. I paid $700 for 7 people! Cooked for days, and cleaned before and after. Everyone else showed up with empty hands and big appetites.
This year, I finally said it out loud in the group chat:
“I can host, but we need to split the cost.”
The responses were immediate and ugly.
“So you’re charging admission now?”
“If you can’t afford it, just say that.”
“Hosting was your idea.”
That’s when it clicked. They didn’t see generosity. They saw a free ride.
So I canceled. No arguing. No explaining. Just: “I’m not hosting this year.”
Two days later, I got a message from someone I barely talk to in the group.
They said, “I thought you should know — they’ve already picked another place. They’re splitting the cost… and calling it a ‘new tradition.’”
That’s when it hit me.
They didn’t miss me.
They missed what I paid for.
So I left the group chat without a word.
No grand confrontation. No speech. Just an exit.
And for the first time in years, the New Year feels lighter — not because I’m celebrating, but because I finally stopped funding a room I was never valued in.
Thank you to our reader for sharing this story — and for reminding us that “tradition” shouldn’t mean exhaustion for one person. If you have a holiday tale of your own, feel free to send it our way. We’re listening.
