I Refuse to Be the Family ATM Just Because I’m Child-Free
Mixing family with money can be complicated. Expectations get blurred, emotions get tangled, and sometimes the person who seems the most responsible ends up carrying the heaviest load. Our reader, Bryan (35, M), had this happen to him.
Here’s his story:
My brother and I have always had very different approaches to life. I’m the one who saves, plans, and thinks ahead. He’s more impulsive, always believing things will “work out somehow.” In the past, when things didn’t work out, I’d help. At first, I did it willingly. He was my brother, and I adore his kids. But slowly, it stopped feeling like kindness and started feeling like an expectation.
Earlier this year, he impulsively quit his job. Then, he called and asked me to fund his kids’ expenses “for a while.” He said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. His exact justification was: “You don’t have kids. You have more room to help.” That hit me harder than I expected. Not because I didn’t love the kids but because my life choices were being treated like a financial safety net for his choices. I finally said what I’d never said out loud before: “I can’t keep stepping in every time things fall apart. I need to focus on my own future too.”
