I Refused to Host Christmas — My Mom Says I Abandoned the Family
The holidays are supposed to bring families together, but what happens when the person holding everything together finally reaches her breaking point? This week, we received a letter from a reader we’ll call Sarah—a working mother of three who has hosted Christmas for her entire family for years. This year, overwhelmed by work and parenting responsibilities, she made the difficult decision to step back. What should have been a simple conversation with her mother turned into accusations of betrayal, family gossip, and demands for an apology. Sarah’s story raises important questions about family expectations, self-care, and the invisible labor that often falls on one person’s shoulders. Here’s what we think about her situation.
When Tradition Meets Burnout: One Mother’s Holiday Dilemma
I host Christmas for my entire family every year. I spend endless weeks scrubbing, organizing, baking. This year, between my job and 3 kids, I couldn’t manage it. I was stretched thin and barely sleeping, so I finally called my mother to tell her I couldn’t host. I expected disappointment, not fury.
She immediately lashed out. “I can’t believe you’d betray your family like this!” she said, accusing me of being selfish and careless. I tried to explain how overwhelmed I was, but she wouldn’t let me finish a sentence. Exhausted, I hung up, shaking and close to tears, wondering when taking care of myself became such a crime.
