e all the time.”
My smile faded.
“What?”
“Depends on the day.”
“Your husband. David. I see him almost every day, honey.”
I stared at her.
“David was here on Tuesday. Before that, I think it was Saturday.”
Her hand stopped.
“Oh.”
I stared at her.
“Are you sure?”
Nurse Adams frowned. “Tall, gray hair, navy jacket?”
My stomach tightened. David had worn that jacket for years.
“That’s him.”
“Maybe I’m getting the days mixed up.”
“Did you see him today?”
“I won’t.”
“Mila, that’s far enough.”
I tightened my grip on the walker. “But I’m finding out where he’s going.”
I followed him.
Every few steps, I had to stop and breathe through the pull in my abdomen.
By the time I reached the next wing, David was entering a room near the end of the corridor.
Through the doorway, I saw a woman in bed with a newborn against her chest. I couldn’t see her face.
My mind went straight to the worst place.
“But I’m finding out where he’s going.”
I pushed the door open.
“David.”
He spun around.
“Mila?”
His face drained of color.
“What are you doing here?”
I pushed the door open.
I almost laughed.
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“Mila, you shouldn’t be walking this far.”
“Then make this easy. Who is she?”
He looked over his shoulder.
I almost laughed.
That glance did it.
“Move.”
“Mila…”
“Move, David.”
He stepped aside.
The young woman looked up.
“Mila…”
And every thought about an affair vanished.
“Sloan?”
Her eyes widened.
“Mila?”
Eight years disappeared in one second.
Her eyes widened.
Sloan was David’s daughter from his first marriage. I had helped raise her, taught her to drive, and loved her carefully because she already had a mother, Amanda.
Then, when Sloan was 17, she and David had a terrible fight, and she left.
David told me she wanted nothing to do with either of us.
For eight years, I believed him.
She and David had a terrible fight.
Now Sloan was sitting in a hospital bed holding a newborn.
I looked at the baby in Sloan’s arms.
Then I looked at David.
“You knew she was here?”
“Mila, let’s get you back to your room.”
“You knew she was here?”
“No.”
“You just had major surgery.”
“And you’re standing in a maternity room with your daughter after telling me you were at work.”
Sloan’s eyes moved between us.
“Dad. You didn’t tell her?”
The room went quiet.
“You just had major surgery.”
I turned to Sloan.
“Tell me what?”
David stepped in before she could answer.
“Mila, this isn’t the place.”
“Then why are you here every day?”
“Tell me what?”
His face changed.
I felt my grip tighten around the walker.
Nurse Adams hadn’t been mistaken.
David had been coming to the hospital every day.
Just not to see me.
Nurse Adams hadn’t been mistaken.
I looked at Sloan again.
“How long has he known you were back?”
She hesitated.
“Sloan.”
“Almost a year, Mila. I moved back just before I found out I was pregnant.”
I stared at her.
“How long has he known you were back?”
“A year?”
David moved closer.
“You’ve done enough. Go back to your room and let me handle this.”
I held up my hand.
Then I asked Sloan, “You’ve been talking to him for a year?”
“You’ve done enough.”
She nodded.
“Since last spring.”
“And he knew you were pregnant?”
“Yes.”
Sloan shifted the newborn higher against her shoulder.
“Since last spring.”
“Are you okay?”
A sharp pull burned across my abdomen.
I tightened both hands around the walker.
“I need to sit down.”
David stepped toward me.
“Let me help you.”
A sharp pull burned across my abdomen.
I moved back before he could touch me.
“Don’t.”
“Mila, you’ve just had surgery.”
“I know exactly what I’ve just had.”
My voice shook, partly from anger and partly because standing there was starting to hurt more than I wanted either of them to see.
“Mila, you’ve just had surgery.”
Sloan pushed the call button beside her bed.
“You shouldn’t have followed him this far.”
“I shouldn’t have had to.”
David looked at her.
A nurse appeared at the door a moment later, and I finally let someone help me into a wheelchair.
David reached for the handles.
“I shouldn’t have had to.”
I caught his wrist.
“No. She can take me.”
“Mila.”
“You’ve made enough decisions for me.”
His face tightened.
I looked at Sloan before the nurse wheeled me out.
I caught his wrist.
“I want to talk to you.”
Sloan’s eyes filled.
“Okay.”
“Without him.”
David started to speak.
Sloan cut him off.
“I want to talk to you.”
“I’ll come to you.”
Back in my room, the pain medication made the edges of everything softer, but it didn’t touch the ache sitting beneath my ribs.
I didn’t sleep.
I kept thinking about Sloan.
“I’ll come to you.”
Eight years earlier, David had told me she’d cut us both off.
I had asked him more than once whether I should call Sloan myself.
Every time, he’d said the same thing.
“She needs space from both of us.”
I had believed him because I was terrified that if I called, Sloan would confirm it.
That fear had cost me eight years.
“She needs space from both of us.”
Two hours later, David came into my room.
I was sitting upright, one hand pressed lightly over my abdomen.
He closed the door.
“We need to talk.”
“I agree.”
“We need to talk.”
Relief flashed across his face too quickly.
Then I added, “After I talk to Sloan.”
His jaw tightened.
“Mila, she just had a baby.”
“And I’ve just had surgery. Somehow, you still found time to lie to both of us.”
“Mila, she just had a baby.”
“You’re making this bigger than it needs to be.”
I stared at him.
“You’ve been coming here every day?”
“Sloan was admitted last week. Her doctor wanted her monitored until Spencer arrived.”
“And while I was recovering one wing away, you told me work was keeping you away.”
“Sloan was admitted last week.”
He rubbed his forehead.
“I couldn’t tell you Sloan was here.”
His hand dropped.
For the first time, David looked afraid.
“Mila, what happened with Sloan was complicated.”
He rubbed his forehead.
“Then I’ll let Sloan explain her part.”
“She was 17. She was angry.”
“At who?”
His mouth tightened.
That told me enough.
“Go, David. Leave.”
“Then I’ll let Sloan explain her part.”
David stood there another second.
Then he left.
Sloan came the next afternoon.
This time, she arrived in a wheelchair.
A nurse pushed her in. When Sloan saw me looking at the empty space in her arms, she said, “My mom has him.”
Then he left.
“Your mom?”
“Yes. She’s keeping him company in my room.”
I nodded.
Of course.
I hadn’t spoken to Amanda since Sloan left.
The nurse locked Sloan’s wheelchair beside my bed and stepped out.
“She’s keeping him company in my room.”
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then Sloan rubbed the side of her thumb.
I noticed immediately.
“You still do that.”
She looked down.
“Do what?”
I noticed immediately.
“Rub your thumb when you’re nervous. You used to do it before math tests.”
Her mouth trembled.
“You remember that?”
“I remember a lot, honey.”
That nearly broke both of us.
“You remember that?”
Sloan looked toward the window.
“The baby’s name is Spencer.”
I smiled despite everything.
“Spencer.”
“Yeah.”
“He’s beautiful, Sloan.”
“The baby’s name is Spencer.”
“Thank you, Mila…”
Then the silence returned.
I took a breath.
“Your dad told me you didn’t want me contacting you.”
Sloan looked straight at me.
“Thank you, Mila…”
“What?”
“He said you thought I was trying to replace Amanda.”
Her face changed.
“I never said that.”
My throat tightened.
“He told me you wanted a clean break from both of us.”
“I never said that.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“I wanted a break from him, Mila!”
“Why?”
Sloan looked down at her hands.
“Because Dad wouldn’t let me breathe.”
“I wanted a break from him, Mila!”
I waited.
“When I was 16, Dad decided I should live with you two full time. He said Mom wasn’t giving me enough structure.”
I frowned. “He told me you wanted to move in.”
Sloan gave a bitter laugh. “No. He wanted me to.”
“What happened the night you left?”
“No. He wanted me to.”
“He took my phone because I wouldn’t give him the password. When I fought him on it, he told me if I wanted to live the way Mom raised me, I could go live with her.”
I stared at her.
“He told me the fight was about curfew.”
“It wasn’t.”
I stared at her.
“He took my phone.”
“He said that?”
“Yes.”
Her voice cracked.
“So I left.”
I reached for her hand.
Sloan let me take it.
“He said that?”
“I asked him about you afterward,” I said. “For months.”
She looked at me.
“I asked about you too.”
The words hurt more than I expected.
“What did he tell you?”
“That you agreed I needed distance.”
“I asked about you too.”
I felt tears spill before I could stop them.
“Sloan, I never agreed to that.”
“I know that now.”
“I thought you hated me.”
“I thought you chose him over me, Mila.”
“I know that now.”
Then Sloan squeezed my hand.
“I should’ve called you.”
I shook my head.
“So should I.”
“I was 17.”
“And I was the adult, my darling. I should have known better.”
“I should’ve called you.”
We both started crying.
It was just eight years of grief sitting between us.
“I adored you,” I said.
Sloan covered her mouth.
“I loved you too.”
“Past tense?”
“I adored you.”
She gave a shaky laugh through her tears.
“No.”
I squeezed her hand again.
“No more letting David carry messages between us.”
“Agreed.”
“If you’re angry with me, tell me.”
“No.”
“You too.”
“If you need space, tell me yourself.”
Sloan nodded.
Then she looked toward the door.
“Dad’s still doing it, you know.”
“If you need space, tell me yourself.”
My stomach tightened.
“Doing what?”
“Deciding what everyone can handle.”
And just like that, I knew the problem hadn’t ended eight years ago.
Two weeks later, Sloan’s texts got shorter.
“Doing what?”
Old me would’ve decided she needed space and left her alone.
Instead, I called.
“Are you upset with me?”
“A little.”
“Tell me.”
She hesitated.
“Are you upset with me?”
“You left the hospital so fast. I thought maybe seeing me again was too much.”
“I’m sorry I made you wonder.”
“You don’t regret it?”
“Finding you? Never. Losing eight years with you is what I regret.”
Sloan went quiet.
“You don’t regret it?”
Then she said, “Spencer needs his grandma, you know. He’s lucky enough to have two.”
My throat tightened.
“Does he?”
“He does if you want the job.”
“I’ve waited eight years for someone to offer me something that good.”
“Does he?”
A few days later, I called David and told him to come to my sister’s house alone.
When he sat across from me at the kitchen table, I got straight to it.
“I’ve started counseling,” he said. “I’m trying, Mila.”
“I’m glad.”
Hope crossed his face.
“I’m trying, Mila.”
“But I’m staying with my sister.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know.”
“You said you hadn’t decided about us.”
“I haven’t. But I need space to heal without you deciding what I’m ready to hear.”
“I’m staying with my sister.”
“Mila, I’m trying.”
“I know. But trying isn’t the same as understanding.”
He looked up.
“You lied because you couldn’t stand that Sloan still wanted me in her life after she stopped trusting you.”
His face tightened.
“I was scared of losing my daughter.”
“Mila, I’m trying.”
“So you made sure I lost her too.”
David went quiet.
“I can’t give you those years back.”
“No. You can’t.”
I held his gaze.
“So you made sure I lost her too.”
“Your job now isn’t to convince me to forgive you. It’s to figure out why you needed control more than honesty.”
“And what do you do?”
“I recover. And I decide what happens next.”
By Christmas, David and I were still living apart. He stayed in counseling, while Sloan and I had spent the past few months learning how to be in each other’s lives again.
“I decide what happens next.”
She came over carrying Spencer, and Amanda joined us later.
While I held the baby, Sloan found a crooked macaroni ornament she’d made when she was younger.
“You kept this?”
“Of course I did, honey.”
Spencer stirred in my arms.
Sloan leaned against my shoulder.
“You kept this?”
“He’s going to know you as Grandma Mila.”
My throat tightened.
“I’d like that.”
She smiled.
This time, nobody had decided for us.
We chose each other ourselves.
“He’s going to know you as Grandma Mila.”
